i guess in a sense i'm starting to study the messages of people lately about that 4 letter word.

my unofficial thought on that thing called LOVE is this. it's over-rated. almost pointless.

but really, is it?

i'm not speaking for alot of people here, just my own.

Love...

I know it exists, how it feels, how it should feel. I've loved and been love. It's beautiful, it's wonderful.

After that boy, I reliazed that i'll never find anything that felt like that. i was sucked in, i couldn't help but fall. i never felt anything quite close to that before or since. time jets past like there wasn't such a thing. it was like a drug.

and even after the most mindblowing tumultuous end, i still care about his existence. go figure. i should hate him, but i don't.

i'm not the kind of person that will stalk you until i'm over it. when it ends, it's done. sign my name at the dotted line, seal it up, and walk away. the deed is done. and everytime, there is a justifiable reason.

am i bitter? i am. one becomes bitter after experiencing everything that one could ever experience that was wrong.

while bitter, i am happy. happy because of where i am in my life. bitter? because of all the blood, sweat and tears i put in to every relationship only for it to end by being wronged. hurt so bad.

it pains me when i see things about love on the street, internet, or online. these people want to feel something that will not last forever. they don't know the work that goes in to one.

oddly enough, all that chaos to make it work are the most memorable things.

am i over him?

totally.

do i hate him?

not at all.

do i regret anything?

never.

will i do it all over again?

yes, definitely.

when?

no time soon.

what alot of people mistake for being in love is this, something i came to learn. they stay in a relationship trying to convince themselves when they come to realize that it's not the person they want. it's the idea of the feeling toward someone. hence the whole, need to change for a man/woman.

love is the feeling you get when you have that person and having them for what they are. never needing to change a thing. a positive influence. a person that challenges you, but never competes. someone who's gonna keep themselves up not just because you're there, but because it's what they do. they just put in extra because they want to please the person but please themselves more. and someone who is going to give you the most mind blowing sex ever everytime.

i never realized what it meant to love yourself first. but it is so true. you cannot love another unless you love yourself first.

i love me, but that relationship is already turbulent as is. i can't possibly love anyone else. and i please myself everytime. sex with another person is for needs, you can't love such a person. it's impossible. and even that can't be satisfying forever. but it's fun.

at some point someone will come along and change my feellings on love. but until then, i'm in the most satisfying relationship ever.

the one with myself.